Support & Solutions to help you cope with the loss of a companion animal through the process of "Loving Forward"

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Jun 21, 2013 | Post by: LundDia No Comments

What If You Don’t Know The Answer?

When someone loses their companion animal they can have so many questions.  Some questions you will be able to answer right away.  Some questions are more challenging.  Questions such as:

“Why did this happen?”

“Are they in heaven?”

“Will I ever stop feeling so sad?”

There are no simple answers to these questions.  In fact, you may not have ever thought about how you would – or even if you could – answer them. If you have difficulty finding the right answer to help someone who is grieving, the following strategy can help.

1.     Do not expect to know everything about everything

  • Don’t panic
  • A lot of questions don’t have “set in stone/one size fits all” answers
  • You can’t expect to have an answer to every single question you may be asked

2.      If you don’t have an answer to a question, simply reply, “I don’t know.”

  • Try not to make up an answer on the spot
  • Let them know you need time to consider their question to get to an answer
  • Be aware that what is true for you might not be true for others
  • Admitting you don’t know can open the door for searching together for answers

3.         Create a comforting environment to allow open conversation

  • Let them know that their questions are valid
  • Reinforce for them that you are there for them to listen and to hear
  • Ask them what they think the answers might be
  • Ask for permission to offer your insights

Hopefully this basic strategy can provide you a comforting framework to support a grieving friend or family member. If you need additional information or would like to discuss this strategy in more depth, please contact me.

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